Friday, 30 July 2010

Guest Post: Glorious Tat.

Ooooh, so please welcome my first guest-poster to help me through the difficult internet-separation period (I MISS THE INTERNET), hayles from ceriselle.org. hayles is probably the only person ever who tweets as much as I do, and as we share a liking for things that are rubbish yet awesome, the subject of this post came rather naturally!

My name is Hayley, and I love JML tat. You might think that this isn't really a very normal thing to do, but what sane person doesn't get just a little bit excited by this website?


Oh yeah. You know JML, they're in most shops these days with a video player on their display showing random infomercials.

My love of shopping channels began when I was about 7 I think. Mum was doing some decorating at her friends house, who was super rich. I could tell she was rich because she had more than 4 TV channels (plus S4C that none of us really understood) and somehow I ended up watching a lady on QVC try and sell me a plastic microwave bacon crisper.

I've always been a bit weird about that sort of thing though. I would read the Betterware catelogue cover to cover when it popped through the door, and follow my mum about the house pointing out the REALLY SUPER UBER USEFUL THINGS that it sold. I'm still a bit like that with the
Lakeland website. I mean, who doesn't need a banana bag to stop your 'nanas going mouldy?

I was at my best friends house one day, and was flicking through the channels (as you do) and ended up on A WHOLE CHANNEL DEDICATED TO JML.

OK, breathe.

But look at this:

The Halogen Oven is basically one of those Eazy Bake ovens they talk about on Friends quite a bit, but we never got in this country. (My A-La-Carte Kitchen was good, but could it make cake?)


The "Perfect Brownie" maker makes individual brownie portions for you so each slice is crispy on all sides


The EZ Cracker...no, I'm sorry, I can't think of a use for this.

With JML products, you get the impression that they're seeing what tat people will buy.


This gym bag will apparently help to combat those bad smells from your PE kit. (Mine never smelled, but thats because it spent most time in the washing basket where I couldn't see it.


I've
written previously on my blog about my hatred for Snuggies and Slankets. Basically, someone went to Ikea (the wonderful land of hot dogs and mini Daim bars), bought a cheap blanket and sewed some sleeves into
it. WELL DONE WHY NOT CHARGE £25 FOR IT.


I don't even understand how these glasses work. They don't fall off because they have magnets in them? If thats right, these magnets have to be strong enough to attract through your temples, and that's something I don't think I want near my head.


I think I had one of these as a kid. Oh dear.

[Sarah: OMG I've met that blonde model during a photoshoot at work! She was a master at smiling cheesily. JUST LIKE THAT.]


Ah! The reason for this post. I've been looking at these on the JML stand in Asda for a while, but couldn't think why I would want to pay £10 for bits of plastic. Sarah then pointed me towards eBay where I got some for £2.50 delivered. I'm still waiting for them, but OOH EXCITED.

I've tried to sum up the amazingness of JML in this post, but sadly it can't be done. Just go watch the TV channel and try to resist going "ooh, thats handy" at one thing.

- Hayles @ ceriselle.org
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6 comments

  1. Love this post - hilarious!

    I've never seen the JML website, & now I'm desperately trying to resist the temptation to go & check it out..

    I used to do the same thing, with the Betterware etc catalogues. In fact, sadly, I still do.. It's not that I even WANT any of the stuff, I just feel the need to know what they're offering!

    That scarf thing is genius. The suggestions are literally cracking me up - bandit/safari/mask - of course!

    www.heart-shaped-bruise.blogspot.com

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  2. I love JML!!!

    Well done @hayles.

    Veronika_lives

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  3. Fantastic post :) I get overly excited by the arrival of the Lakeland catalogue.

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  4. This post was so funny! Definitely going to check out your blog (:
    x

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  5. Those Bumpit things are ridiculous. They just make you look like you've got a big head.

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  6. Hahaha I love ridiculous things like this too! When we first got Freeview TV like 10 years ago I used to spend hours watching QVC even though I never bought anything.
    I got some of those Bumpits the other week! I think I'm doing it wrong though, I can't get my hair to look like they do in the pictures :(

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