Wednesday 14 September 2011

You're the queen of the superficial.

We’re barely out of August, but I’m already back in opaque tights and thinking about my Autumn/Winter wardrobe. Well, to be more specific, I’m thinking about COATS. I didn’t buy a new coat last year, instead recycling the ones I wore from the previous three years (which, usefully, are of varying thickness levels so they keep me going from Autumn to Spring). I know I’ll wear them again this year (I love this one and this one far too much to stop wearing them) but they’re looking a little bit shabby now and, well, I WANT a new one, damnit!

The main reason I didn’t buy a new one last year was because I couldn’t find the ONE. I am such a fussy madam when it comes to clothes – especially the bigger, more expensive items. A good winter coat is so important because you’ll wear it every day for weeks and weeks – there’s a lot of pressure on that one item of clothing to be just right.

So here it is. The perfect coat. The coat to end all coats. The coat I have been hunting for, for god knows how long. The coat I once saw on a random stranger and chased her down the street to ask her where it was from (she got away... curses.). Surely this coat must exist. And if not, why not? Someone make it for me. Please?

I really don't want to spend more than £100 on a coat. Maybe JUST over. But not by much.

Just above the knees, please! Elongating short legs, plus slimming – cutting you off at the second narrowest point of your legs (the narrowest being the ankles, and I am far too short and, er, curvaceous to pull off an ankle length coat. Plus I have no desire to look like I’m a flasher.)

Single Breasted (NOT double breasted)
There are some items that ladies of the larger-chest persuasion should not wear. Double breasted coats are amongst them (as are polonecks). If you’re looking indignantly at your computer screen saying 'Nuh-UH!' er, TRUST ME. They make you look two sizes larger than you are.

Classic. I like funnel necks but I don’t find them flattering (poloneck effect) and they get hot, too. A classic, lapelled collar will look just as good hanging open as it does closed. And v-necks flatter everyone. Especially me. This is MY perfect coat, you know. Not yours.

Classic. Neat. Timeless. Warm. My style's pretty established by now, so you might not be surprised to know that I want a defined, nipped in waist and an a-line skirt. Maybe pleated. Not a tulip skirt. A proper skirt. I will not compromise.

RED. Red red red red red red. Not cranberry. Not orange. Not blood red. RED. Fire engine red. True red. RED. Please. (Red.)

Matching Hat
Look, Topshop already sell it! I need it.

Come on, everyone. This coat must exist. Help me find it. If you can... I'm bloomin' fussy and the only thing I'll compromise on is price!


  1. What about this one? Or is it too fussy?,size:

  2. I'm going to be very smug now and share that I found my perfect coat (an APC cashmere/wool number) for £5 at a carboot... I was very happy as I am really fussy too and I didn't buy one last year for the same reason as you...
    Will keep eyes peeled for you though!
    - Charlotte xx

  3. Wow, a girl who knows what she wants! Good luck with the hunt. I too need to get a new winter coat, I think I need to start jotting down my list for a perfect coat as currently I have no idea. No idea means lots of time wasted looking for the wrong thing!

    I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with... and if you fail, I know a fabulous girl who could make it for you, just how you want it.

  4. I just got my perfect coat delivered today! .... I say this every time i buy a winter coat to convince myself that "this is THE ONE! ...don't have to be any more coats ever!" I hope you find the coat you're after xxx

  5. Love the illustration! I'm the same with hunting for a winter coat, it's something your going to end up spending a fair bit on so it's got to be right, always end up trying on loads before I get one! x

  6. Good luck on your quest! I hate searching for something that the shops haven't made yet!

    T x

  7. Good luck with finding your perfect coat, I will keep my eye out for you :) I may also buy it hen I do because it sounds like MY perfect coat too!

    Maria xxx

  8. Good luck with finding it! (and if you do find it please let me know where!

  9. heres some links to ones i found on polyvore...,default,pd.html

    hope it helps any!

    @ucrazyutaraptor xo

  10. love this pretty little sketch! have you tried Next they have some lovely ones :) xx

  11. this I think fits your description perfectly!
    Just one problem though...

  12. I really wish the high street wasn't so full of double breasted coats. You're right, not very flattering at all. I'm still on the hunt for mine. Good luck with yours, I'll keep an eye out!

  13. Oh how I smiled when I read this post! Every winter, or every other winter I go through the dance of trying to find a coat that fits and is my dream coat...and every winter I end up with something that will just do because its warm enough, but not the swishy loveliness that I imagine in my dreams!!

    Good luck with the hunt, and I hoping for a post in which you've found the perfect one!

  14. When I was about 19, I managed to find my perfect coat after months of searching. Alas, because it was cheap (a black, H&M uber mac) it only survived one season. Now I am back to square one! Finding the perfect coat can be so difficult so I, for one, wish you all the best! xx

  15. i absolutely love your illustrations. i still have your christmas card from last year in fact, i love it so much!

  16. I've been searching for a proper red riding hood coat for years, and have fallen in love with this one. Fit-wise it really meets your requirements, but depends if you want a hood or not! There's a 15% off code at the moment which makes it £165:

  17. Ah and this one is on the other end of the price scale:,brand


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