Sunday 31 July 2011

Super Awesome OMG Giveaway Week (Day Seven)

It’s with a heavy heart I bring you…

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That’s it. The last day. Have you enjoyed it? I really have. It’s not the kind of thing I’ve done on my blog before – I’ve only ever done one giveaway before, and that was from my own Etsy shop – but I LIKE it. To be honest, even though I love buying myself things and receiving gifts, I actually love buying for other people almost as much. So giving things away is kind of nice. Maybe I’ll do it more.

Today’s sponsor is… um, me. When I first started planning this giveaway week, I only had a couple of people on board, and so included myself at the end. And then the week filled up, but I thought ‘You know what? I was intending to do this anyway, so screw it, I’m doing it.’

Since I changed my layout, I’ve had quite a few enquiries about doing other blog illustrations. It’s not something I’m doing much of - or offering to do for free - because, if I’m honest, I have a full time job, write for two blogs, run my own jewellery business and am pretty strict about sleeping every night, too. BUT that doesn’t mean I don’t have a little bit of time, so today’s prize is a custom portrait in the style of my blog illustrations.

It can be a portrait of you, or someone you know and you can do whatever you want with it – put it on your layout if you want, chuck it in the bin, whatever!


~*~*~*the mysteeeeery box*~*~*~
I’ve actually been meaning to do a giveaway for ages and have collected a few random bits and bobs which, if you win, ARE YOURS. They’re nice things, honest. Or aaare they? (They are.)

  • You must be a follower of this blog. Yep, I’ll be checking!
  • Include your email in the comment.
  • Giveaway will run for ONE WEEK, closing Sunday 7th August 19:00 GMT
  • Winner will be selected using
  • Worldwide entries welcome.
  • No boys allowed - enter away, but sorry, I can't draw boys!
  • Winners will be announced Monday 8th August.

  • Follow this blog via Google Friend Connect or Bloglovin (please let me know which)
  • Leave a comment… telling me a joke. Also, your email address
  • For an extra entry, either tweet or post to your blog something along these lines: Fancy winning an illustration by @essbeevee? Enter her giveaway at
    (if you tweet AND blog it – that’s two extra entries! But please note you must comment too.)
Just to recap, here are the giveaways you've missed - which are all still open to enter!

Bijou Bijoux Jewellery (ends Monday)
Witch Skincare (ends Tuesday)
Tabio leggings & socks (ends Wednesday)
Brand Alley voucher (ends Thursday)
Debenhams voucher (ends Friday)
Fossil clutch/wallet (ends Saturday)

And that’s it! No more giveaways. ALL giveaways will run until Monday 1st August at 7pm, and then they gradually end, a day at a time. Please note, I have to be fair, so any entries that don't obey the rules of that post will be ignored.

I’ll post all the winners on Monday 8th August. Hope you win!

Oh, also! While you're here - please vote for me in the Matalan style Project. Ah, go on.



  1. Such a lovely giveaway!!

    I'm following you via google friend connect :)

    It's silly but:

    What did the penny say to the other penny?

    We make perfect cents.

    Told you it was a silly one!


  2. Oh Sarah, what a lovely prize! Your drawings are wonderful :)

    Two fish are in a tank and one turns to the other and says 'do you know how to drive this thing?'.

    Haha. An oldie but a goodie! X

  3. I'm obsessed with illustrations so I'd love to enter!

    What's the difference between a fireman and a soldier?

    You can't dip a fireman in your egg ;)

    I follow via GFC -

    Tweeted too! @scaredtoast


    T x

  4. Joke -
    boy 1 - wow my teacher is hot
    boy 2 - i‘m seriously worried about you now
    boy 1 - why?? alot of guys crush on their teachers.
    boy 2 - yeah but you're homeschooled....

  5. Hey i follow with GFC.
    Lovely giveaway
    What did the elephant say to the naked man?
    "How do you breath through something so small?"

  6. Why did the duck cross the road?

    Because the chicken was on holiday.

    That was a joke I made up when I was about 3, it's still the best in my repertoire.

    I follow on GFC and my email address is xx

  7. This has got to be the best giveaway ever, I love your illustrations! :) They're adorable.

    Erm, I'm better at random moments of hilarity than jokes but I'll give it a go.
    "What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?"
    "A dinosnore!"

    Following you on GFC.

    Florrie x

  8. Asif the illustration weren't enough, you go and throw in a mystery box too...and I'm a sucker for lucky dips. I can't not enter!
    As for a joke, I'll use my dad's fave..."I know what Luke skywalker's got for christmas, I've felt his presence"



    I follow via gfc, email:

  9. Maybe I should have done a joke about my brain being like a sieve?

    Anyway, my email:

    Florrie x

  10. Hiii, I have a joke it's so lame it's awesome.

    What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?

    Where's pop corn?

    Hehe. My email is

  11. Ooooh this is my fav prize, I still want an illustration for my blog! Have tweeted (@NicsNotebook) and follow via GFC as Nicola (NicsNotebook).

    Joke: 2 cows in a field, 1 goes "Moooooo", the other says, "Hey, you ba**ard I was gonna say that" !!! ;)

  12. Oooops 4got my email: x

  13. Ooh I want this real bad.

    I follow on Gfc.
    Joke - I'm going to buy my Mum a wooden leg for Christmas. It's not her main gift it's just a stocking filler.

    athriftymrs at hot mail dot co dot uk

  14. Hmm, this isn't really a joke but....

    Two lepers playing cards. One threw a hand in.

    Sorry :(

  15. This is such a good idea, I love your illustrations, you're very talented :)

    Once upon a time there were two muffins in the microwave. Suddenly, one of the muffins says:
    "Man it's hot in here!"
    The other muffin exclaims:
    "Look a talking muffin!!"

    Awful, yes, but I can't think on the spot!
    I follow via GFC.
    Sirens and Bells

  16. right, bear with me, this joke's a bit long.
    what do you call a deer with no eyes?

    no idea!

    what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

    STILL no idea

    what do you call a deer with no eyes/legs/ears?

    anything you like, he can't hear you!


    i follow via GFC and my email is

    Rosie xo

  17. im ALSO going to tweet, im @roseanneamy!

    Rosie xo

  18. Ok best give-away of the week!

    I'm a bloglovin follower and my email is

    As for a joke...

    It's April and Arnold Schwarzenegger's secretary gets to work to see Arnie looking really glum.

    She's a bit worried about him, and she wonders if maybe it's the time of year, so eventually she plucks up the courage to ask him:

    'Arnie' she says 'what's the matter? Is it Easter? Did you not get given any eggs this year?'

    And Arnie says 'no, don't worry, I-still-love-Easter baby!'

    (works best if you say it out loud. And have a terrible sense of humour!)

  19. This is a great final giveaway!
    I follow you with Google Friend Connect.

    This is a joke that I heard this week:
    Why did the hipster guy burn his month?
    He tried to eat his pizza before it was cool.

    Erica Johnson
    modern-girl @livejornal

  20. I loved the illustrations when you changed your layout, but I didn't realise they were your own! They're gorgeous! I follow on both sites and tweeted (@_SarahColeman_)

    How many ears does Spock have? 3, the left ear, the right ear and the final front ear :)

  21. Lovely, lovely giveaway. One of the best of the week!

    follow you on both gfc and bloglovin

    Ok, so all the jokes I know off the top of my head are Doctor Who related, because I'm a big geek ;p so here goes

    What does the Doctor eat with his spagetti?
    Dalek bread.

    ah thankyou! I'm here all week *takes a bow*

  22. I follow with GFC - enter me please!

    why did the mexican throw his wife off a cliff? TEQUILA!

    kirstydotburton @

  23. Sarah, this is utterly non-giveaway related but would you ever be up for doing a drawing for a tattoo? (obvs I'd pay) x

  24. Q. how do you find out about chickens?
    A. use a hencyclopedia!!! PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

    following by GFC, and my email is: :D

  25. Best giveaway prize ever Sarah :) You already know that I love your illustrations! Lame joke...

    Why can't you play cards in the jungle?

    Because there's too many cheetas!


  26. omg this is my fave of the giveaways!


    hehehe. umm.

  27. OK, so my favourite crap jokes are THE ONES YOU HAVE TOLD ME. Cheese based ones with actions are the best.
    But, because you'll tell me its against the rules, here is one of them that doesn't need an action:
    What cheese do you use to hide a small horse? Marscapone.


  28. Ok. I would seriously rather win this prize than all the others put together. I love your artwork so much.

    But if you're picking the winner based on joke telling ability then I already know I will FAIL. Big style. I rely more on snarky banter than actual jokes. Um...oh why not be rude about my fair city?

    Why wasn't Jesus born in Liverpool?
    Cos God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

    I'm a GFC follower and it's


  29. Sarah! I have just been texted an awesome joke which I think you will appreciate. Can I swap this with my other one pretty please? If not, I hope it raises a smile anyway.

    A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel tied to his balls. So the barman naturally says "Um, do you know there's a ships's wheel tied to your balls?" And the pirate goes "ARRRRRR, IT'S DRIVIN' ME NUTS."

  30. What do you call a Frenchman in sandals? Philippe Floppe.

    Simple but effective! Your illustrations are great so I'd love one! Also the mystery box looks very intriguing!

    I'm a GFC follower and my email address is :)

  31. Wow, lovely giveaway to end the giveaways :D your drawings are awesome.

    As for a joke.. hmm...

    What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
    Doyouthinkhesaurus! :D

    My email:

    Fiona x

  32. Ooh, mystery box! I reckon I trust your taste :p
    I'm a Google follower (been following via RSS for much longer than it looks like since I somehow neglected to click the Friend Connect button) and my e-mail is dichohecho [at] gmail [dot] com
    Happy post-birthday weekend!

  33. What a wonderful prize! Your drawings are incredible - I still have that card you sent with your jewellery from your shop haha *lame*

    What's brown and sticky?
    A stick.

    *Hangs head in shame*

    I follow you via bloglovin, and I'll tweet about it (@__LaurenJ)

    My email is zig.meister@ (might be different on bloglovin..)


  34. Box of mystery?!?!? What's not to love :)

    I'm following you via Bloglovin and my email is

    So to the joke....What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

    Groan. For shame.

    Amy x

  35. My joke -what do you call an exploding monkey? A baBOOM! I know... terrible...

    Hope you've had a lovely birthday week. That's the way forward - a whole week of birthday fun. Going to try it myself next year!


  36. hello there lovely! i follow as gwenstella via googlefriend connect. :D

    Joke: Well, i received a spam mail today and the last bit of the mail read, "Please do keep this only to your self. I beg you not to disclose it till i come over because I am afraid of my wicked uncle who has threatened to kill me." LOL

  37. Aww I want to win this the most! I love your drawings - I have your Crimbo card up on the wall in my craft room!

    My only joke in the world is:
    Q. What do you call an overweight alien?
    A. Extra-cholesterol...!

    Hilaaaaaarious, no? Heehee! I follow you on Google and my email is

    Sarah x

  38. Oh my, did not know that those illustrations were your own, how talented are you!

    Someone already did my joke :( so here goes another:

    What's pink and fluffy?

    Pink fluff.

    What's blue and fluffy?

    Pink fluff holding its breath!

    Har har.


  39. What an awesome giveaway! I follow on bloglovin, and here is a joke...

    Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel Prize?
    He was outstanding in his field.

  40. Hahahaha I enjoyed reading through all these jokes because I literally know NONE (stolen) So heres the only one I do know... Whats brown and sticky? A STICK! I'm sorry, thats similar to the pink fluff one, so you maybe saw it coming :) (shoot me now) Anyways, this really is the loveliest prize of all ♥ Can't wait to hear who all the winners are, I've got my fingers and toes and eyes crossed. IT HURTS, HURRY! :) xx

  41. Bloglovin,

    My favourite joke is:
    There are two fish in a tank, one turns to the other and days 'You man the guns, I'll drive'.

    I think I was laughing at that joke for days! It still makes me giggle now haha.

    Oh and a geeky Chemistry joke:
    What do you do with a dead chemist?
    You Barium!


  42. gfc - tinker_bell1990
    twitter and tweet @charli008
    jokes - what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye'd dear!!

  43. Ah so many awesome giveaways! Absolutely love your drawings, you're so talented! I'd love to win :) I follow via GFC. And now for my joke :p
    Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli?
    A strong current pulled him under. xoxo

  44. I follow with google.

    what kind of bird do you find in the kitchen?

    A tea tOWeL (works better when you say it)

    jojoebi.designs 'at' gmail 'dot' com

  45. Ok, best joke I know coming up...

    What do you get if you cross a Rottweiler with the Andrex puppy?

    Something that scares the crap out of you and then runs off with the toilet paper.

    Boom boom :).

    I have also done some tweeting @Scientist_Chic

  46. A dyslexic walks into a bra.

    God I'm sorry, that was awful. All my jokes are awful actually but that one always makes me giggle, I'm easily amused.

    Have followed with bloglovin, my email is - also your drawings are gorge :) xx

  47. There were two biscuits crossing the road. One was run over, the other said 'Crumbs!'.

    Yup, I'm glad you're my friend for other reasons than my jokes.

  48. I think this is the best prize yet! Please enter me right away!

  49. Wow enter me please jsut found this blog !!

  50. I've just found your blog through A Thrifty Mrs and your bag post from Thursday (I think?) had me sold! I am in LOVE with that bag, lucky you!

    Anyway, hi, I'm a follower with Google Friend Connect please enter me into your fab giveaway! Email address is

    Did you hear about the two peanuts that got into a bit of trouble in a bar? One was a salted... (assaulted...)

    Sorry it's a dreadful joke but it's late!

    Nicki xx

  51. i follow via gfc, my email address is phillippa . white @ gmail . com :)

    joke time!

    why does snoop dogg carry an umbrella?

    ... fo drizzle.

  52. AWFUL GIVEAWAY! Gettit, that was the joke, because it's an amazing giveaway *chuckles to self*

    I follow via GFC and my email is

    Sara :) xx

  53. Following via gfc: jade hewitt

    There once was a bloke who had every animal you could possibly think of but he went into the petshop looking for something unique... The owner offered him a talking centipede. So he took the centipede home and left it to get comfy. After half an hour he went to see if the petshop owners claims were true... 'would you like to go to church and do some singing?'... No reply so he asked again 10 mins later... Still no reply. Finally he lost his rag and shouted 'DO YOU WANT TO GO TO CHURCH OR WHAT?!' the centipede replies 'i heard you the first time iv been putting my shoes on!'


  54. damnit left out my e-mail...

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